Is there an upside to infertility? For me I believe there is. How can that be? It is so terribly painful, almost to painful to contemplate, so where’s the upside? I have searched the scriptures seeking answers. I’m not the first of God’s people to have this problem, and I believe most of these women did have children in the end. Hanna did, Sarah did, Rebekah did, Rachel did, Elizabeth did, but not me.
Psalm 113:9 speaks of the Lord settling the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children, but Isaiah and Galatians speak of a barren woman singing for joy “because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD. Well what about a barren woman with a husband? Humm.
So where's the upside?
I am aware on a moment by moment daily basis that I’m not the one calling the shots.
I know my life is not my own. I have given it to God and it’s his to use as he sees fit. I know from reading Job that Satan had to ask permission to harass Job. He was not given free run, he could only go as far as God permitted him to go and was not allowed to touch a hair of Job’s head. What’s that got to do with me?
It means that if God who knows what’s best for me has decreed or allowed that I don’t have children then that’s good enough for me.
It offers me an opportunity every day to trust God even through the pain. To trust even though I don’t understand. An opportunity to be reminded every day that God is God and I am not.
It helps me to live Psalm 46:10, to be still and know that He is God.