It’s a lot like falling in love, the process of bringing an adopted child into our home.
That first blush of excitement, the nervousness, the uncertainty and fear of the unknown, the time spent thinking about the beloved when apart, the drawing together then drawing away. I’ve re-experienced the whole dance of courtship in these first few weeks with our son.
When I met my husband I was immediately smitten, but the process of weaving our individual lives into a marriage was not always a rose strewn path. The same could be said of bringing our son into our home. He truly is a delightful boy – most of the time.
On those challenging days I have greater understanding of the temptation to lash out in anger against a child. I don’t condone child abuse, but I understand it.
On those challenging days I have greater understanding of the temptation to manufacture a child via IVF. I can’t help but wonder if a child who is flesh of my flesh would give me greater resolve to endure the hard times.
On those challenging days I wonder if bringing a baby home would have been a whole lot easier. Spouses come with baggage, and so do school age orphans.
Things are rocky when visions of Military academy dance through your head.
Then it occurred to me that Our Lady may have forgotten the sound of my voice, that I hadn’t been to Adoration in over a month. Bringing a school-aged child into the lives of people married for eighteen years requires some serious adjusting. I didn’t intend to walk away from my prayer life; I just got preoccupied with making lunch and schlepping to day camp, swimming lessons, doctor appointments, case workers, home visits….
So I picked up my rosary and scheduled time for Adoration, and through the miracle of Grace poured out in answered prayer this week has been much easier. Happy cooperative boy is back, crabby argumentative boy is gone, melt downs have been few and mild, good humor and goofiness abound.
Recently the case worker was early for a home visit and standing in the drive as we pull up to the house still soaking wet from an afternoon at the pool.
“Tell her we went to a goldfish convention”, he quips.
The boy is kinda funny, a huge blessing, a delight and an occasional pain in the backside all in one. Yep, pretty much the same package I got when I signed up for marriage.
Lord thank you for bringing this boy to our family. Guide us on your path, teach us to love him as you do, and bring us all home safely to heaven when our time on earth is through. We ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.