Friday, October 24, 2008

Eve What Were You Thinking?

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

One of my horses is dying. He’s had labored breathing for several weeks and our local vet didn’t have a clue so we took him up to the veterinary teaching hospital at MSU in Lansing and they have confirmed a diagnosis of equine squamous cell carcinoma which they tell me is very aggressive. He is recovering very slowly from last week’s surgery and one of the vets is recommending immediate euthanasia.

Even though he’s only a horse his loss is painful. As I sat teary eyed hiding out in the bathroom at work after discussing the situation with Hubby I thought of Eve. Had she know how far reaching the pain caused by her sin, would she have made a different choice? Had she known the pain her choice would cause God, would she have made a different choice? She had been warned that she would die and that didn’t stop her, so perhaps not, which brings me to the subject of my own sin.

I’ve been struggling of late with the Lord’s instruction to: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. And I wonder how far reaching my own sin, each of our sins may be. Surly if Eve had seen the consequences of her choice, to her children and for so many future generations, she would have sought the Lord’s guidance. But alas she did not, and that is where I want to learn from her mistake.

Sin hurts. It hurts us, it hurts those we hurt, it hurts God and it hurts our relationships with God and each other. In many cases it hurts across time and reaches those hurts into the future.

I don’t want to go there; I don’t what my legacy to be one of pain to anyone, although my actions don’t always live up to that ideal. In fact far from it, so off to the confessional I go seeking God’s grace which is sufficient for me. I can’t become the woman I want to be in my own power. It’s simply not possible, but we all have free will we can all make choices. I want to choose as Our Lady did to bring Christ to the world, and my only hope of joining in such a lofty ideal is living a life of Grace constantly seeking God’s guidance in the daily decisions of life, and asking his forgiveness when I fall short.

Lord, help me to follow you more closely, teach me to love as you do, give me a heart that beats in tune with yours. I ask this through Christ our Lord, Amen.


Katie said...

Yes, I definitely empathize with you on this post.

I'm so sorry to hear about your horse. I'm asking St. Francis to pray for him.

Anne Marie said...

Thank you, I was just thinking of St. Francis as well. Hubby and I are busy second guessing having him operated on v. traking him bringing him home and waiting for him to die, but it’s very easy to second guess your every move in hind sight.

I’m going to go visit him and bring my Padre Pio oil and some holy water to bless him with. Even though he’s only a horse I don’t want him to suffer and I’m hoping I will get some insight as to how to proceed.

We would like him to recover from his surgery so he can get a permanent tracheotomy and just come home to live with his pasture mate for as long as he’s got, but if he’s in pain and not healing that doesn’t make sense.

Anyhow thanks for your prayers.

Jennifer F. said...

Another beautiful post. I'm so sorry about your horse -- keep us posted!