Monday, October 20, 2008

IVF & The Godparent Dilemma

My SIL has a gorgeous baby son, Gabriel. The boy is a serious cutie born in August. The five other children conceived with him via IVF were destroyed because the cost of cryopreservation was not covered by insurance. I grieve for them every time I see a photo of little Gabe, Hubby and I would have loved to have adopted his brothers and sisters.

My SIL has asked Hubby and I to be his Godparents, and I am really struggling with this request. In addition to the IVF question, both parents have been married before and Gabe’s dad was married in the Church. No efforts have been made toward annulment other than determining that the cost and effort are prohibitive.

In speaking to our Priest he tells us that the standard is a “reasonable hope” that the child will be raised in the faith. I’ve sent her materials about annulment, and faith formation CDs from the Parish media center, but every time I ask about efforts toward annulment I get the brush off.

On the one hand I don’t want to upset the family apple cart by refusing to be his Godparents on the other I’m more concerned about offending Jesus than my SIL. They live over a thousand miles away and so our influence in Gabe’s daily life would be exclusively via prayer rather than daily example.

I’m looking for insights, HELP!

4 comments:

Jennifer F. said...

What a difficult dilemma!! I have no words of wisdom, unfortunately. Let us know what you decide to do!

Katie said...

That is a hard decision to make. I don't think I have any advice but I'm praying for you and for the Holy Spirit to help guide you in your decision! What does your husband think?

Anne Marie said...

Gee guys I was hoping for something a bit more stirring than I don't know!

Hubby thinks I shouldn’t hold to a standard higher than the Parish he is being baptized in and if they are ok with an irregular marriage I shouldn't get caught up in it.

I'm not sure I agree, but I am going to be Gabe's Godmother because God keeps reminding me as I ponder the situation how very far he has brought me and not to get to full of myself, that I will be better able to evangelize with out the hurt feelings that would come with a refusal.

And evangelize I will!!

Katie said...

Heh, sorry to disappoint! I think going ahead with as a godparent is a idea. You'll also know he has a strong Catholic influence in his life this way!