Tuesday, October 21, 2008

“You’re Really Lucky”

On the list of things not to say to an adopted child. We had someone tell our son he’s lucky recently and it just did not sit right with me. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to an awkward “I don’t know what to say to this child” fopaux, but she followed it up by telling me, “it gets better when they are 30 or so.” I was able to rally for that one and told her I’m really enjoying the process right now. If anyone else ever tells him he’s lucky I’ll be ready with, “No, really I’m the lucky one.”

I’m not sure why she would tell a child who was abandoned by his mother at two, beaten by his father so badly that he required two surgeries and was hospitalized for a week and has lost his siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins in the process he’s lucky, but she did. Of course she does not know his story, but still he’s nine, not an infant, it’s apparent he has a past.

He took it well, in fact I don’t believe he even noticed, but if he were lucky he would have been born into a family with loving parents who are married a house full of sibs and extended family nearby. What he got was a rough deal for the first nine years of his life. I’m this child’s seventh mother for Pete’s sake, that’s not what I would call lucky!!

We all have our crosses in life to bear and every life has sorrow and pain, he’s not any more unique that any other soul, but still he’s seen his share of difficulties at a very early age. I heard the song Alyssa Lies today and I can’t help but think that could have been our son. He tells me that he thought he was going to be killed, he tells me of the chair his birth father held over his head to smash on him and the mysterious way it was deflected and never hit him and I’m convinced his guardian angel intervened. Of course God can and will bring good out of the worst circumstances and he will work all things together for good for his purposes, but lucky the boy ain’t.

What he is, is an awesome kid. We are all getting settled into the routine of school, soccer, the social calendar of a fourth grader and homework. There is limit testing going on, there are challenges that come with the baggage of his past, but they are minor and it is a joy to watch him grown each day. Truly I am the lucky one, I’m sure that’s what she meant to say.

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endure forever. Amen.


Jennifer F. said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. God bless you guys.

Katie said...

Powerful post. God bless you all.

People are well meaning but often don't think about what they say to children.