Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Bully at the Christian School

My stomach is turning. Literally. I’m having a physical reaction, a very deep, almost primal reaction to one of my son’s classmates harassing him. Not sure it that’s a typical Mom reaction, or if it’s more a reflection of a tendency I have toward a hot temper.

This kid is the pest of his grade and one of my son’s best friends was pulled out midyear last year due to this kid’s bullying.

The new year hasn’t improved the situation apparently.

We send our son to a Christian school, and frankly I don’t expect to have him taunted by a pint-sized tyrant.

Our son’s history of physical abuse at the hands of his birth father, and the effect of that abuse is something we are just beginning to work through with counseling. We are working to heal the scars on his heart, and this is not helping.

He made the most chilling comment today, saying he was glad his friend isn’t this child’s target any longer since he can take the harassment better than his friend. It breaks my heart that it doesn’t seam to occur to him that NO ONE should have to be picked on by this kid, that he thinks he needs to be a shield. It also breaks my heart that he’s been keeping this harassment to himself for the most part, he hasn’t let us know how bad it had become, but it popped out and now that we know we need to address the situation.

Nothing worked for his friend last year, so maybe home schooling is in our future too. It is the only way our son will receive a Catholic education, so perhaps this will be a blessing in disguise.

Any suggestions on dealing with bullying in school?

St. Elizabeth Anne Seaton, pray for us.


Katie said...

Definitely a normal mom reaction! (I'm hot tempered too though, so I get you!) What has the school said about this bully?

Anne Marie said...

I’m meeting with the principal on Monday and I’ve been in conversation with the mom of the boy that the bully ran off last year to get the back story on steps that were taken last year.

There are always two sides to every coin so I’m working to keep an open mind on the matter, but I have no intention of allowing my kid to be picked on by anyone, period.

He’s had a life time of being choked, thrown across rooms, pined up against a wall, bones broken, and screamed at with no one to protect him.

No more. I’M going to protect him.

Tertium Quid said...

We starting homeschooling this fall due to different circumstances, namely, we could not afford the deposit on the new private school while we were paying off the old one and our car this spring.

Necessity caused us to homeschool, and we love it. Our curriculum is the Classical Liberal Arts Academy. They emphasize Latin Grammar, the Trivium, and Quadrivium. My daughter's first translation assignments have been from John 1 of the Vulgate.

Don't fear where the Lord might lead you.

Anne Marie said...

Hi TQ:

Thanks for the info on CLAA. This section on parental discipline is a bit intimidating:

We must not ignore the reality that all of history's greatest students learned many of their lessons for fear of the rod and not for love of learning at the time. Also, remember that more passive methods, such as those employed by St. John Bosco, were employed with children that were not his own, but who were neglected or abandoned in the streets. He is not to be used as a model for parental discipline having been entrusted with a very different mission than parents.

I’m a bit more inclined to Don Bosco’s methods with our son, at least at this point in our journey, but I must agree with their overall premise that much of what’s taught in school, even private school, is so much rubbish.

How do you schedule social time for your girl? Our son really enjoys time with his peers and I become concerned about isolation as an only child. Also, does the course work require a full day or does she get done in a few hours?

The vulgate? Good grief. Isn’t she in grade school? I thought she was a couple of years or so behind my boy. I’m sure she is very intelligent, is that typical of the coursework or is she just that advanced?

Finally, thank you for the encouragement over the years. I recall you telling me of the Dominicans in Nashville praying for childless couples and I’ve always recalled feeling comforted by that as our path of parenthood unfolded. Thanks.